I need to think of a good way to respond to people when I’m offered a drink. I was at one of my vendor’s dinners the other night. They took us to a Mexican restaurant, same place every year. Which is a good thing because it’s delicious and where I live, there is no good Mexican food. The restaurant also has ridiculously good margaritas that are ordered by the pitcher and placed strategically around the table. It was tempting. That little voice in my head kept saying, “just have a small one, it wont hurt.” But I didn’t listen to it. After about five different people tried to pour me a margarita, one of the ladies exclaimed loudly, “You’re not drinking?!” An awkward silence hit the table. I replied, “I’m on a detox.” I looked at the plate in front of me that I had piled full of queso, guacamole, and freshly fried chips. Errrr….. “Of alcohol….” I quickly added. Doh. I’ve been rehearsing my responses in my head, but when I’m asked I trip over my words. I tell myself that it’s okay. Everyone continued their imbibing and didn’t speak of it again. In the middle of all of that, I got a text from a good friend exclaiming her excitement that January is over and now she can drink again. Deep breaths…. I continued to enjoy my queso, the company, and my soda water with lime. We had a great night.
I know it will get easier. I know I’ll figure out what I should say in whatever situation I’m in. I have learned in the last 37 days that I like myself a heck of a lot more sober, than I ever have as a drinker. I guess I could say that to people. Part of me doesn’t want to make people feel uncomfortable. Part of me doesn’t want to be treated differently because of my new lifestyle.
I feel good. I wake up with a clear head. My skin is looking nicer. My clothes are fitting looser. I’m sleeping better. I have more energy. I feel like I’m starting to manage my depression well. So, why should I care if my lack of drinking makes someone else uncomfortable. That sounds like their problem. If someone is treating me differently, are they a true friend? Or are they just wanting to hang out with people that make their own drinking feel normal. It’s an interesting road. I’ll continue to rehearse my responses and tactics. Maybe I can tell people that dry January felt so good that I decided to continue it through February. Perhaps I should be honest with people and enjoy the responses I get. After all, it is a good friend filter.