25 Days

This week has been overwhelming. I’m getting ready to go out of town on Sunday night. My husband has already left. I’ll be meeting him later this week. I wish I could say we are traveling for vacation but this is a work trip. It’ll still be fun, we’ll just be running like crazy. I’m trying to dig through my pile of desk paperwork before I leave. That has proven to be a difficult mental hurdle. I need to be realistic about my work load and focus on doing just a little bit every day to get caught up. I am feeling more energetic and I am sleeping better than I have in ages. My mental fog is clearing more and more. I know that as I feel better, my life will become more manageable.

My brother arrived last night. He is house sitting for us while we are gone. I am thrilled to have someone here we can trust. I was nervous for his arrival. A typical night of hanging out with him involves alcohol. He was surprised to see me not drinking. However, he was supportive. I was tempted to sit and have a beer or a cocktail with him while we caught up. I was good though. I sipped on my sparkling water and enjoyed the conversation.

There was another trial last night right before my brother arrived. I went to a friend’s house to wish him a happy birthday. There was a small intimate gathering of people there. They were all sipping on some homemade peach schnapps and had several bottles of red wine open. I’m not much of a socialite. When I’m invited to an event or a party the first thing I do is try to think of why I can’t go. Typically when I do go to a party I hide behind my social husband. When my husband is out of town I avoid gatherings like the plague. I get some wicked social anxiety. I did well last night though. At first it was difficult for me not to grab a glass of wine to try to relax. But I managed to remind myself why I am choosing to change. It was a huge accomplishment for me just to show up to the gathering alone. I was comfortable and I had a good time. I don’t remember the last time I was that relaxed in a group of people.

I have always used alcohol to cope in that type of environment. Now I realize that the alcohol has been lying to me. I’m on day 25 of my alcohol free life.

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6 thoughts on “25 Days

  1. That’s way cool. Period. You are walking the good walk in that you’re thinking clearly, making good decisions. Quick suggestion only if you don’t mind: Healing generally doesn’t take place in a vacuum. It will be of tremendous support for you to be a part of a structured group. My wife and I have been in AA for nearly 9 years, but there are many viable alternatives. I would certainly encourage you to consider such an option.
    You are in my prayers daily, kiddo. Have a safe trip.

  2. Thank you Greg 🙂 That means a lot. You’re right about healing. I’ve been thinking about that quite a bit lately. I used to be really active and involved in a local church. Perhaps it’s time for me to become a regular again. There is also a community center that hosts support groups near my house. I need to step out of my comfort zone and reach out.

  3. Massive congratulations on staying so strong in the face of all of those tests. If you’re looking for more inspiration, there’s a blog called mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com” by Clare Pooley (her book, Sober Diaries is brilliant too)
    Another one I liked was “The unexpected joy of sobriety”.
    I look forward to reading more of your success stories. 😊💕

  4. i so bad want to get to where you’re at. I didn’t drink for 2 days and then I drank last night. No alcohol at all for me today!

  5. I can so relate to so much of what you said here. For me local community was not really an option for what I needed so this community online is healing me a little I think. Thanks for sharing and great going.

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